Uncle Pat goes to Jail

A few months back, one of my friends suggested that I write down some of my adventures and mis-adventures.   Back on September 27, 2017, I was retrieving a gun that I had pawned at a pawn shop.  They always run a federal background check whenever you get your firearm out of hock, just as if you are buying it for the first time. I had forgotten that I had to pay a ticket , and that the deadline was the day before.  This particular morning , the folks at the Pueblo County Courthouse were being very efficient and issued a "bench warrant" for my arrrest.  When a federal background check is run, the software automatically checks for any outstanding warrants.  If it finds any , it automatically contacts the local constabulary and sends them to where you are, instructing them to take you into custody.
So, I decided to write this as a children's story.  For some reason, it just seemed like the right format for something so absurd.  Oh, and the ticket was for a "leash law violation"...
hahahahahah.

Uncle Pat goes to Jail

One day Your Aunt Mary was telling your cousin Tracy a story

This story was about the day that Uncle Pat went to jail

We'll talk about jail later, but it's a place that we always want to avoid.

People make you stay in the same place all the time,

And some of the other people staying there are kind of mean

It's kind of like church! 

Your uncle Pat got a ticket one day

(a ticket is a piece of paper those nice policemen sometimes give you because you did something naughty,

And they saw you doing it.

So, they give you this ticket, and you are supposed to give some money to some nice people who work in a building downtown called a courthouse.  You might find out about those later, when you start driving, or if your big sister likes to get you into trouble)

So, uncle Pat got a ticket. And that silly uncle Pat forgot to pay it. 

Silly uncle Pat.

So one day, he was in a pawn shop, buying a gun, and some nice policemen showed up and arrested uncle Pat.  He said, "But gosh darn it, why the heck are you doing this?"

And the nice policemen said , "Silly uncle Pat! You forgot to pay a ticket.  Now watch your head" as he made him sit in the back seat of the car, with handcuffs on.

That sweet dog Lacy was sitting in the car , waiting for that silly uncle Pat.  But the nice policemen let uncle Pat call his friend Weldon.  Nice uncle Weldon came and got Lacy and took her back to his house.

The nice policemen took Uncle Pat to the El Paso Country Jail and got him a room.  He had to share the room with other men who forgot to pay tickets, and had robbed banks and been mean to other people.  He had to stay at the jailhouse until they let him pay his fine , and then they let him go.  It took them 12 hours to let him go.  Thankfully, there was a toilet in the room where all the men were staying.  It wasn't nice like the one we have here at home, and it didn't have a door.  Or a toilet seat.

Uncle Pat was lucky.  He got very hungry, and the nice men who worked at the jailhouse brought a lunch with a cup with some kind of meat, and some lettuce and a cookie.  And a drink of some sort.  Uncle Pat ate everything they gave him, but was still hungry.  But the nice men who worked there reminded uncle Pat that the jailhouse is not a resort hotel, and they were very busy , and that it was a good idea to not complain. 

It was about 11:30 at night when uncle Pat got out of jail.  He was awfully happy to put that adventure behind him.  He told me that next time, he'll be sure to take care of any tickets that those nice policemen give him. 

The end.